The Joy of Uber

Every night is an adventure. Here is $30 of joy from last night:
  • You can do a pickup at the HiLiter without making the police blotter.
  • Uber selfies with drunk dudes on the "sketchy strip clubs of Phoenix" tour are a thing. 
  • Centerfolds. It's important to know your strip clubs and where they are. I had never heard of this joint.
  • I hope the three drunk dudes enjoyed the club upgrade.
  • There is a mountain in the middle of the Pointe Tapatio resort. There is a restaurant on top of the mountain, if you can handle the narrow steep drive.
  • Uber selfies with a couple of drunk twentysomething babes are a thing.
  • No, I don't know any bars up here (except biker bars).
  • No, I won't take you to any of the joints where you'll be targets. Or to the strip club where I dropped those dudes. You can thank my inner Daddy Bear, ladies.
  • For being so receptive to the strip club idea, the whole "tip for good service" thing escaped you.
  • Even so, I would be happy to pick you up and get you home safe. But that isn't free. And no, you can't request me as your driver.
  • I might happen to be in the neighborhood, like for the Centerfolds crew. It's time for a new club.
  • Now I know what an Eiffel Tower is. Thanks for the description guys!
  • Evidently, I am the only driver in North Phoenix. 
  • Three false starts on the Grand Avenue strip club tour, Alaskan Bush company has more junkies in the lot than dancers. Dirty's is everything you'd expect from a 1970s Pizza Hut turned topless bar. At 8:00, Fox's is waiting for its foxes to show up. 
  • T &A is a skeevy dump, but it's evidently good enough.
  • No, I won't sit here for 40 minutes.
  • No, I won't lurk in sketchytown begging for business while you're getting your grope on.
  • "We'll take care of you." Thanks guys. I might believe it if you had on either of the first two rides. The only consideration I got was not spitting your Skoal in the car or out the window (while we were moving).
  • Also, for fucks sake, don't shout shit at people when we're out on the Avenues. I would prefer to go home alive.