Dear SEO People with "Guest Posts"

Dear SEO People with "Guest Posts"

We're through. (Unless you want to pay for the space.)

We're tired of the fake names from fake email accounts.
Karma:  Oh, the sweet, delicious irony
We're tired of the scripted intro emails.

We're especially tired of generic seat of the pants, unresearched/unsourced bullshit like:
the car has performed incredibly well in a variety of safety tests performed by multiple companies
Oh really?  Wow.  I feel smarter and better informed already, not to mention entertained.

Another thing I especially like is when I'm told to expect a post on the most beautiful car ever, and i get a list of "safest" cars, with some new person as the author.  Wait., what?  I asked for stories, written be real people in their real voice, not
There are a lot of opinions, but some cars have been rated as very safe by a number of trustworthy entities.  It’s almost impossible to say that one is the safest, of course, especially when so many manufacturers have worked to ensure that your car offers as much protection as possible.
So, either whip out that paypal account or else submit something that is closer to Red Bull than to Sominex.


[Ed.: P.S. God, it feels good to be on the giving end of these things...]